Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
