Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
