So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
