i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
