i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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