So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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