He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
they need to just BURY HIM!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
