our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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