The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Semen is not good for contacts.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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