Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Success! We fucked roommates!
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