Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
