Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
