woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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