thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Michael Bay diarrhea
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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