so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
