Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
