ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
