i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
