Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If that was your dad, he is hot
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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