I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
