this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
