Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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