I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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