Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
