gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Someone shattered a urinal.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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