He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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