he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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