Since when is my name a synonym for head?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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