I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
