Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
