the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
whose parrot is this?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
