just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
