And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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