I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
