Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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