Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
