stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
