it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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