So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
