if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
