About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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