....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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