im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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