He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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