first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
