The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
