I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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