you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
