youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
