I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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