You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
