Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
