Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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