We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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