He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
