fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We're too hungover to prance.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
