i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
