i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm always down for nudity.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
